I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Randomize
