people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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