not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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