hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
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