I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
