Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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