if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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