I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
