clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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