Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize