awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Did you put 9lbs of birdseed all over my car?
You weighed it?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Randomize
