the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
