did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Randomize