its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
