boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
Randomize
