I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I just googled if crying burns calories
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
