ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize