So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Randomize
