Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
