Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
