Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
why do cheetos always look like penises
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
