Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
then he tried to convert me to islam
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
