Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
