I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
