am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
