why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Randomize
