You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Randomize
