Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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