Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
We left an ass print on the piano.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize