at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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