THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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