Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
