yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
