Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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