okay pat passed out under dana's car
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I just want to make out with him forever
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
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