I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Randomize
