Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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