Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
