C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
