It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Randomize
