Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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