At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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