Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
