I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
