i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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