Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
