He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
