...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
