first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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