five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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