Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
