No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
This is awkward. You have a four minute voicemail from me. I would delete it. I accidently hit your number on speed dial and called you while I was vomiting a mai tai.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
