try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Randomize
