No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
The beer is more important than you right now.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
