In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
