I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
